Universal Life Church

Monday, March 7, 2011

Universal Life Church - Church Bloopers

Universal Life Church

CHURCH BLOOPERS

This is a compilation of actual Church Bulletins and Service bloopers

Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard Get High" Don't let worry kill you ~ let the church help.
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
Weight Watchers will meet a 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

Jean will be leading a weight-management series Wednesday nights. She's used the program herself and has been growing like crazy!
The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the carpet should come forward and do so.

The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.
Thursday night ~ Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

The preacher will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing "Break Forth With Joy".
During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when A. B. Doe supplied our pulpit.
The Rev. Adams spoke briefly, much to the delight of his audience.
The church is glad to have with us today as our guest minister the Rev. Shirley Green, who has Mrs. Green with him. After the service we request that all remain in the sanctuary for the Hanging of the Greens.
The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's "Hamlet" in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.
Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
The associate minister unveiled the church's new giving campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge ~ Up Yours."
Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

Announcement in the church bulletin for a National PRAYER & FASTING Conference ... The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals.
Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 p.m. in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
Miss Charlene Mason sang, "I Will Not Pass This Way Again." giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.

Smile at someone who is hard to love ... say "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
The Peacemaking Meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict.
The sermon this morning: "Jesus walks on the water" The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus".
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.

The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are afflicted with any church.
The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.
Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a terrible experience".

CHURCH FUNNIES

The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to, after the worship service, ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building. Therefore, he was annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been brought in at the last minute. The substitute wanted to know what to play. "Here's a copy of the service, he said impatiently, "but you'll have to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the finances."
During the service, the minister paused and said, "Brothers and Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as we expected, and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge $100 or more, please stand up."
At that moment, the substitute organist played "The Star-Spangled Banner."
And that is how the substitute became the regular organist!

The Church Gossip Sarah, the church gossip and self-appointed supervisor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several residents were unappreciative of her activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.
She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his pickup truck parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon.
She commented to George and others that everyone seeing it there would know that he was an alcoholic. George, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just walked away. He said nothing.
Later that evening, George quietly parked his pickup in front of Sarah's house ...
AND HE LEFT IT THERE ALL NIGHT!!!

Standing at the Pearly Gates Standing at the pearly gates of heaven, Albert noticed pointing to two paths. One was marked "Women" and the other marked "Men."
He took the path assigned to men and then came upon two more gates. The right-hand gate had a sign that read "Men Who Were Dominated By Their Wives"; the other gate read "Men Who Were Boss and Dominated Their Wives".
The first gate had an endless line of guys waiting, but only one little guy stood before the male domination gate. Albert was undecided, so he walked up to the little guy standing all alone and asked, "Why are you standing at this gate, a little punk like you?"
The smallish fellow replied, "I haven't a clue. My wife told me to stand here."

Church Remodeling The crumbling, old church building needed remodeling, so the preacher made an impassioned appeal, looking directly at the richest man in town.
At the end of the message, the rich man stood up and announced, "Pastor, I will contribute $1,000." Just then, plaster fell from the ceiling and struck the rich man on the shoulder. He promptly stood again and shouted, "Pastor, I will increase my donation to $5,000." Before he could sit back down, plaster fell on him again, and again he virtually screamed, "Pastor, I will double my last pledge." He sat down, and an larger chunk of plaster fell hitting him on the head. He stood once more and hollered, "Pastor, I will give $20,000!"
This prompted a deacon to shout, "Hit him again, Lord! Hit him again!"

Meeting after the Service "There will be a meeting of the Board immediately after the service," announced the pastor.
After the close of the service, the group gathered at the back of the auditorium for the announced meeting; but there was a stranger in their midst. He was a visitor who had never attended their church before.
"My friend," asked the pastor, did you understand that this is a meeting of the Board?"
"Yes," said the visitor, "and after that sermon, I'm about as bored as you can get!"

Pulling teeth ... A minister just had all of his teeth pulled and new dentures were being made.

The first Sunday, he only preached 10 minutes.
The second Sunday, he preached only 20 minutes.
But, on the third Sunday, he preached 1 hour 25 minutes.

When asked about this by some of the congregation, he responded this way.

The first Sunday, my gums were so sore it hurt to talk.
The second Sunday, my dentures were hurting a lot.
The third Sunday, I accidentally grabbed my wife's dentures ...
and I couldn't stop talking.

Free Offering A little child, in church for the first time, watched as the ushers passed the offering plates.
When they neared the pew where he sat, the youngster piped up so that everyone could hear him say, "Don't pay for me Daddy, I'm under five."

Daily Prayer Dear Lord,
I'm proud to say, so far today I've got along alright; I have not gossiped, whined or bragged, or had a single fight.
I haven't lost my temper once, or criticized my mate. I have not lied, I have not cried, or loudly cursed my fate.
So far today I've not one time been grumpy or morose, I have not been spiteful, cold or vain, self-centered or verbose.
But, Lord, I'm going to need your help throughout the hours ahead, So give me the strength, Dear Lord, for now I'm getting out of bed.

Picking the Hymns One Sunday, a pastor told his congregation that the church needed some extra money. He asked the people to consider donating a little more than usual into the offering plate. He said that whoever gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns.
After the offering plates were passed, the pastor glanced down and noticed a $1000.00 bill. He was so excited that he immediately shared his joy with his congregation and said he'd like to personally thank the person who placed the money in the plate.
A very quiet, elderly, saintly looking lady all the way in the back shyly raised her hand. The pastor asked her to come to the front. Slowly she made her way to the pastor.
He told her how wonderful it was that she gave so much and in thanks asked her to pick out three hymns.
Her eyes brightened as she looked over the congregation, pointed to the three most handsome men in the building and said, "I'll take him and him and him."

After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided to become a minister when I grow up."
"That's okay with us, but what made you decide that?"
"Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and listen."

A 6-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at a church service: "And forgive us our trash passes, as we forgive those who passed trash against us."

A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon. "How do you know what to say?" he asked.
"Why, God tells me."
"Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"

A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"

Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favorite Bible stories. She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which showed four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent.
"The flight to Egypt," said Kyle.
"I see ... and that must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus," Ms. Terri said. "But who's the fourth person?"
"Oh, that's Pontius - the pilot."

Spiritual Gifts During the French Revolution, there were three Christians who were sentenced to die by the guillotine. One Christian had the gift of faith, the other had the gift of prophecy, the other had the gift of helps.
The Christian with the gift of faith was to be executed first. He was asked if he wanted to wear a hood over his head. He declined and said he was not afraid to die. "I have faith that God will deliver me!" he shouted bravely. His head was positioned under the guillotine, with his neck on the chopping block. He looked up at the sharp blade, said a short prayer and waited confidently. The rope was pulled, but nothing happened. His executioners were amazed and, believing that this must have been an act of God, they freed the man.
The Christian with the gift of prophecy was next. His head was positioned under the guillotine blade and he too was asked if he wanted the hood. "No," he said, "I am not afraid to die. However, I predict that God will deliver me from this guillotine!" At that, the rope was pulled and again, nothing happened. Once, again the puzzled executioners assumed this must be a miracle of God, and they freed the man.
The third Christian, with the gift of helps, was next. He was brought to the guillotine and likewise asked if he wanted to wear a hood. "No," he said, "I'm just as brave as those other two guys." The executioners then positioned him face up under the guillotine and were about to pull the rope when the man stopped them. "Hey wait a minute," he said. "I think I just found the problem with your guillotine ..."

ULC Ministers - Where does your money go?

ULC Ministers - Where does your money go?

Brother Andre of the ULC Modesto, March of 2009 tells the Modesto Bee in an interview he draws less than $3,000 a month, and this in a state with a cost of living that is one of the highest in the country.

Brother Michael it has been well documented lived in a trailer up until recently getting a small home with a monthly payment of about $600 and who draws less than $2,500 a month.

With all the suffering throughout the world, the recession here in the USA this captioned below just doesn't seem right. Should Ministers live such a lavish, luxurious lifestyle at the expense of his or her ministers and with being a non-profit entity is this considered to be a reasonable draw?

Ref: http://www5.kingcounty.gov/parcelviewer/viewer/kingcounty/viewer.asp?PIN=6306400110

Where does the leader of the Seattle based ULC live?

Record 1

Parcel Number 6306400110

Site Address 1928 HARVARD AVE E

Zip code 98102

Taxpayer FREEMAN GEORGE M

Value Range: $432,000.00 – $605,000.00 Estimated Monthly Payment $2,114

Bedrooms: 2

Bathrooms: 2

Sqft: 900

Lot size: 4,500 sq ft / 0.10 acres

Property type: Single Family

Year built: 1928

Parking type: Off street, Garage - Attached

Cooling system: None

Heating system: Forced air

Fireplace: Yes

Last sold: December 29 2009

The Support of Preachers
There is no small amount of ignorance when it comes to the financial support of faithful preachers. In a sense, the local church is an employer (I Cor. 9: 3-6, 14). Both "employees" and "employers" have biblical principles governing them (cp. Col. 3: 23 - 4: 1)Since the local church is comprised of Christians, one would expect the local church to set the example relative to the "employer" and "employee" relationship. However, on occasion such is far from the case. Rather, too many local churches when it comes to matters being discussed are such in attitude and practice that if applied to the secular realm of employment, very few would desire to enter into such an "employer" and "employee" circumstance. In forty years of preaching and being supported by local churches, I have observed some exemplary practices. However, I would be dishonest if I did not also say that I have witnessed some disgusting and shameful practices and treatment of preachers. It is my aim in this material to educate elders and Christians in general pertaining to the subject of the financial support of preachers.

It is of preliminary concern that we inquire as to why there are so many abuses characteristic of some churches and why ignorance too often prevails on this subject. In all honesty, I must say that we preachers are often responsible. I say this because most preachers had rather take a physical beating and often continue to endure the mistreatment and abuse than say anything about the support of preachers. In the first place, when the subject is taught on, many view the preacher thus teaching as having ulterior and selfish motives, he wants a pay raise. Let me say that an unfaithful preacher is not worth one penny in terms of church support, but a capable man who has dedicated his life to living and preaching the gospel is doing the greatest work on earth and has the right to expect to be adequately supported (Rom. 10: 15). However, due to the sensitivity of this subject, many preachers are remiss and neglect the subject. Notwithstanding such sensitivity, "…all the counsel of God" must be declared by the faithful man of God (cf. Acts 20: 20, 27). Based on my observations and application of the scriptures, I believe the souls of a sizeable number of brethren are in jeopardy due to their attitudes about the matter of financially providing for the preacher.

The Vow of Poverty. Another impetus behind the ignorance and abuse is the "Vow of poverty" that even has influenced the thinking of some Christians. We read:

"Religious priests take a vow of poverty and are supported by their religious order. Any personal earnings are given to the order. Their vow of poverty is recognized by the Internal Revenue Service, which exempts them from paying Federal income tax."

Hence, too many view the preacher as bound by the "Vow of Poverty." This thinking even precedes Catholicism and their priesthood, being observed in many ascetic and monastic orders even contemporary with First Century Christianity, but removed from it (cp. Col. 2: 20-23). Some based their ideas of the financial condition of preachers today on the Aaronic and Levitical Priesthoods. It is true that they (these priests) had "no inheritance" among the people (Num. 18: 24). Yet, we are also told that there was financial provision, even in terms of "land" (we shall examine this more in the following).

To illustrate the attitude and thinking of some, which is often based on even a misunderstanding of the Levitical Priesthood, I want to quote from a brief exchange that I had on this subject with a member of the church of Christ whom I shall call "Mark." I shared an answer that I provided in our Bible Questions work with an Internet list to which Mark responded. The question asked if there is any Bible authority for a preacher owning a house. I answered in part:

"Biblical authority, to some a dirty concept, is established in various, legitimate ways. Paul teaches that a preacher should expect and receive the same financial remuneration as others who expend efforts (I Cor. 9: 1-14)."

Mark challenged my answer by posting:

"I am sure there is no biblical reference for ministers to buy houses."

Mark continued his dialogue by offering a little compromise:

"I don't believe pastors and ministers should have luxury homes like mansions or such, just what they need to have there studies and living quarters that are average and even humble, not being too materialistic ….I don't think pastors or ministers should accept wages for their ministry I came across that scripture that minister missionaries should not ask for wages from the congregation it is up to the church board to decide that as well."

I am sure Mark acquired the agreement of some on list members when he targets "luxury homes like mansions." I do believe that the excessive life styles of some of the "televangelists" is disgusting and indicative of how they are making merchandise of people (cp. 2 Pet. 2: 3). However, are not churches out of their bounds in general when they attempt to bind on the preacher their opinions as to where he should live and the type of house? I am afraid that Mark reflected his monastic concept of preacher support when he wrote: "…and even humble."

Mark reveals his lack of knowledge when he said: "I came across that scripture that minister missionaries should not ask for wages from the congregation…."

Mark appears to have misunderstood such verses as 3 John 7. "Taking nothing from the Gentiles" (pay) is reinforcing the responsibility of God's people financially taking care of God's servants. As to "church board," what is that? Godly elders will make sure that preachers are adequately treated.

A Bible principle. There are a number of statements resident in the Bible that are succinct and, yet, contain powerful, governing truths. Regarding our subject of preacher support, here is such a statement:

"4: Thou shalt not muzzle the ox when he treadeth out the corn" (Deut. 25).

One might inject, "This law pertained to animals, not preachers!" I am not shocked when I hear such rationale. I say this because I have seen the distain some have for faithful preachers and their support, viewing them lower than the brute beast. Consider the following scriptures wherein this principle is both exemplified and applied to men (preachers) and in this dispensation:

"7: And in the same house remain, eating and drinking such things as they give: for the labourer is worthy of his hire. Go not from house to house." "17: Let the elders that rule well be counted worthy of double honour, especially they who labour in the word and doctrine. 18: For the scripture saith, Thou shalt not muzzle the ox that treadeth out the corn. And, The labourer is worthy of his reward" (I Tim. 5).

When I left secular employment and entered full-time preaching, I was appalled at the views I often incurred. Many, even some preachers, I came to realize justified preacher support under benevolence. I, having left a good career, resented "depending on charity and benevolence." Notice that we have already learned and established that preacher support is not benevolence, but rather, "…the laborer is worthy of his hire." God is not selfish or a freeloader, expecting something for nothing. Yet, too often brethren who control the decisions of local churches expect something for nothing and then when they do issue out, they want the preacher to feel like a "charity case."

The priesthood. The Levitical Priesthood is a matter of relevance in our study of preacher support due to Paul using it as one of his examples to argue for church support of preachers (I Cor. 9: 3-14). Consider Paul’s teaching:

3: Mine answer to them that do examine me is this, 4: Have we not power to eat and to drink? 5: Have we not power to lead about a sister, a wife, as well as other apostles, and as the brethren of the Lord, and Cephas? 6: Or I only and Barnabas, have not we power to forbear working? 7: Who goeth a warfare any time at his own charges? who planteth a vineyard, and eateth not of the fruit thereof? or who feedeth a flock, and eateth not of the milk of the flock? 8: Say I these things as a man? or saith not the law the same also? 9: For it is written in the law of Moses, Thou shalt not muzzle the mouth of the ox that treadeth out the corn. Doth God take care for oxen? 10: Or saith he it altogether for our sakes? For our sakes, no doubt, this is written: that he that ploweth should plow in hope; and that he that thresheth in hope should be partaker of his hope. 11: If we have sown unto you spiritual things, is it a great thing if we shall reap your carnal things? 12: If others be partakers of this power over you, are not we rather? Nevertheless we have not used this power; but suffer all things, lest we should hinder the gospel of Christ. 13: Do ye not know that they which minister about holy things live of the things of the temple? and they which wait at the altar are partakers with the altar?" (I Cor. 9.)

Paul had the right to: eat and drink; be married; and forgo secular work and be supported by the church (vs. 4, 5, 6). Paul then adduced several examples all of which had the expectation of financial remuneration, the soldier, farmer, and the priest (vs. 7; 13). Paul reasoned thus:

"11: If we have sown unto you spiritual things, is it a great thing if we shall reap your carnal things?" (I Cor. 9.)

Let us take the matter of the priest as an example of how God provided specific financial arrangements. Smith lists some of the provisions for priests under the Mosaic order. Rather than having taken the "vow of poverty," I think we shall see that they were to have a comparable and comfortable living:

"1. Of one tenth of the tithes which the people paid to the Levites, i.e. one per cent on the whole produce of the country. (Numbers 18: 26-2

2. Of a special tithe every third year. (Num. 14: 28; 26:12)

3. Of the redemption money, paid at the fixed rate of five shekels a head, for the first-born of man or beast. (Numbers 18: 14-19)

4. Of the redemption money paid in like manner for men or things specially dedicated to the Lord. (Leviticus 27: 5)

5. Of spoil, captives, cattle and the like, taken in war. (Numbers 31: 25-47)

6. Of the shew-bread, the flesh of the burnt offerings, peace offerings, trespass offerings, (Leviticus 6: 26, 29; 7: 6-10; Numbers 18: 8-14) and in particular the heave-shoulder and the wave-breast. (Leviticus 10:12-15)

7. Of an undefined amount of the firstfruits of corn, wine and oil. (Exodus 23: 19; Leviticus 2: 14; 26:1-10)" (Smith’s Bible Dictionary, Vol. 3, pg. 2582).

In view of God’s financial arrangements for His priesthood, Smith remarks:

"These provisions were obviously intended to secure the religion of Israel against the dangers of a caste of pauper priests, needy and dependent, and unable to bear their witness to the true faith…" (Ibid.).

It might be a challenge to the thinking of some, but these priests while not recipients of the land promise as such, were also provided many cities and adjoining land in which to comfortably reside (cp. Josh. 21: 13f.). While not normally among the elite rich of the day, the priests were to be above the average working Jew, I believe one can say based on all the provisions.

Since Paul used the example of the soldier and his pay, let us briefly consider the case of the soldier (I Cor. 9: 7). First, the soldiers received pay (cp. Luke 3: 14). Paul reasoned that it would be foolish to think of soldiers not being financially supported. Yet, some think preachers should not receive regular support. Remember Mark’s assertion?

"I don't think pastors or ministers should accept wages for their ministry."

The Greek word for "wages" in Luke 3: 14 (ophonion) provides some insight. This same word is used by Paul in 2 Corinthians 11: 8 regarding his support. Notice how Paul used it:

"8: I robbed other churches, taking wages of them, to do you service" (2 Cor. 11).

Paul used the strong word "robbed" (esulasa) because while Paul preached at Corinth, he refused support from the Corinthian church, but accepted it from other churches (cp. Phili. 4: 14f.). Paul had refused pay from the church at Corinth due to their ungodly attitudes about supporting him (I Cor. 9). It even appears that they manifested such attitudes toward Paul’s support, a man who taught, lived, and stood for truth, while supporting other men (cp. I Cor. 9: 6, 3). "Wages" not only stands for pay, but it also suggests the idea of regular or agreed on pay, such as was the case with the soldiers.

Regarding the example of Paul, he even did what many today would say is automatically a sin: He preached and was supported and at the same time, he also labored in secular pursuits for financial gain (Acts 18: 1-4, cp. 2 Cor. 11: . In performing this secular work, it is evident that he did not neglect his work of preaching and he was not abusing the support he was receiving from churches. Yet, in addition to church support, Paul also had secular income from his tent construction business. Again, many brethren today had they been present in the circumstance of Acts 18, would have condemned Paul. Such illustrates how opinions and prejudices are being bound and used as the standard of judgment rather than God’s word!

The determination of the preacher’s pay. I believe that we have biblically established the right and even the obligation of preacher support, all things understood and equal. The question is, how much should a preacher be supported and how can such amount be determined?

While I am not qualified to offer universally specific amounts, there are some things that urgently need to be said and challenged. I shall insert at this point criterion that I have observed used by churches: The preacher’s pay is determined by what the widows in the local church draw from their various chartable incomes; it is to be determined by taking an average of the amount of the members on fixed income, others explain. Some more fairly suggest that the amount of the preacher’s salary is to be determined by arriving at an average income of the members in the aggregate.

Before we say more, it needs to be pointed out that most preachers are in an often unique situation. Most preachers lack the common fringe benefits of the average worker. Most companies match social security, the preacher is considered by IRS as self-employed; hence, he must pay double (see addendum). Most companies provide health insurance and contribute to a retirement fund (in addition to social security). When the maintenance of an office and the use of a car are involved, it is almost automatic that the employer provide financial remuneration for these expenses. The last secular employment that I had before entering preaching, I received a cost of living consideration every three months and a raise in pay was usually given every six months. The company believed in showing their appreciation for the work and dedication of their employees.

One might object as many do by saying: "You cannot compare preaching to secular pursuits and vocations!" Paul did (I Cor. 9). Due to logistics, I do not personally advocate that the local church provide all these benefits that the average member often takes for granted, but I do think the church should pay the preacher enough so that he can provide these matters for himself. The preacher has the responsibility of being a good steward with the monies paid him. Based on Bible teaching, examples, and the principle, "…the laborer is worthy of his hire," as well as what we just considered in the immediately above, I think it is perfectly scriptural to say that the preacher should be paid more than the average or even upper class (financially speaking) member makes. Do you agree? If not, on what are you basing your disagreement? Please be honest and I think you will find that you are disagreeing either as a result of ignorance (now you know so you cannot plead ignorance), prejudice (back to the "vow of poverty" mentality), or personally competitive envy and resentment. I recall one member in a business meeting in which the motion was made (the church did not have elders) that the preacher have a raise in his support strongly objecting: "This preacher is making as much as I am!" The member worked at a relatively unskilled job; yet, he presented himself as the standard. Such shallow and inconsiderate thinking should not be tolerated.

I believe it would be good if elderships and churches asked themselves the question, "How do we measure up as employers?" One way to probe the question would be for these to also ask, "Would I want to be the employee of the church of Christ?" Can you imagine applying for employment at a company and the company asking you, "Do you have other income besides what we will pay you?" and then being told, "If you do, we shall subtract that amount from the salary that we offer." I say this because there are churches that do this. I knew one preacher who took early retirement from his secular job and the church told him, "We must consider your other income and adjust what we offer accordingly." I ask, what kind of thinking is this? Some churches are very up-set if the preacher, perhaps a man who has preached for many years, asks for a three week vacation. Yet, they all have their vacation time, usually considerably more than three weeks. Would they be interested in working for a company with such an attitude and employment practices? You and I both know that such a company would be the laughing stock of the city. After a true comparison, too many local churches have such an employment, if you will, mentality. "Get the preacher for as little as we can and save the Lord’s money," is their miserly thinking. However, as seen, God does not so think. Some so called "conservative churches" should rather be called stingy churches. Such members are going to be held accountable by God for the mistreatment they inflict.

In closing, it appears from such verses as I Timothy 6: 5 that preaching in the First Century was sometimes monetarily attractive. Paul taught preachers about the "love of money" (I Tim. 6: 10f.). Such would not have been the case had preacher support commonly been such as it is too often today. "Brother Martin, I would not dare consider subjecting myself and family to the financial treatment that I have observed rendered by churches toward preachers," I have had many young and intelligent men to tell me, men who had planned to devote their lives to full-time preaching. You may think, "These men have a bad attitude and we do not need them." In view of what we have studied, please stop and re-evaluate your response. Do they really have a bad attitude or does their attitude reflect on the condition and practice of not a few churches? Preachers must also support their families, you know (cp. I Tim. 5: .

Brethren need to repent of the miserly practices they have had and start using the Lord’s treasury as He intends. Preachers also need to educate brethren and expect them to do what is right. As acknowledged, one penny spent on an unfaithful preacher is too much. However, a good man will never be over supported, all things considered.

I want to close this article by saying that I am very grateful for the churches that have been considerate of my family and me. I have had my share of abuses, but I also have been very blessed. I have learned how to be "abased" and how to "abound" and I hope that I have learned contentment in either case (see Phili. 4: 11, 12). While it should not be necessary, I am one of those preachers who would preach without any financial provision, as long as I could do so and still have a way to provide for those in my immediate care. Therefore, I commit the material in this article to you not out of bitterness, but out of a desire to enlighten. Even though there continues to be much abuse, the support of preachers is so much improved over what it was when I started preaching forty years ago.

Addendum: There are local churches that refuse to help the preacher legally set up allowed tax provisions such as a housing allowance. Some appear to have such resentment that they do not want to see the preacher legally (conformity to IRS protocol) be able to have some taxation relief.

Bedrooms:	2
Bathrooms:	2
Sqft:	900
Lot size:	4,500 sq ft / 0.10 acres
Property type:	Single Family
Year built:	1928
Parking type:	Off street, Garage - Attached
Cooling system:	None
Heating system:	Forced air
Fireplace:	Yes
Last sold:	December 29 2009

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What is real ordination?

Just because you are ordained, this does not necessarily mean you are really a faith-based minister. Most online ordination services and other ULC's, their ordinations are what they refer to as interfaith. An interfaith ordination is not a faith-based ordination, it is strictly an ordination to meet the guidelines of statute to enable the individual to serve as a wedding minister.

An interfaith ordination is real if all that you seek is to be a wedding minister. However, in accord with the NY Times and the Connecticut Attorney General this practice is illegal in four US states and the individual being ordained can be charged with a misdemeanor and possibly face up to one year in jail. In these four states you are prohibited to get ordained solely to perform as a wedding minister. Furthermore, interfaith ordinations are generally only acceptable in the country of origin and many countries do not even accept such an ordination as valid.

Real Ordinations = Real Ministers

Generally a real, full service Minister, rabbi, etc., etc. are trained and ordained from within their respective faith by someone trained, educated and worthy of performing such a sacrament. With most faiths other than Catholics, Christians and non-denominational Churches, the respective faith appoints or initiates.

These online ordination assembly lines ordain you to be wedding ministers and that's it. Be leary of so called ordination services with a vague or evasive doctrine not consistent with any one faith, or those with such things as press passes, parking permits and etc., that more so resemble a Batman Activity Set than that of a Ministry Credential Packet.

There's no such thing as an interfaith, faith-based ordained minister unless he or she are ordained from within each doctrine of multiple faiths. No one minister has a carte blanche to ordain you under multiple faiths.

Interfaith Ordination is a deceptive, and very creative way of saying "WEDDING MINISTER ORDINATION" which enables the ordainee the availability to perform as a wedding officiant in 46 of the 50 US States.

By most people's standards REAL ORDINATION is defined as one being ordained within a clearly defined doctrine of faith consistent with that respective faith.

We offer Real Ordinations by an individual baptised, confirmed and ordained within the Christian Doctrine of Faith and one who possesses the appropriate training, earned degrees and stature to perform such ordinations and we are the only Universal Life Church who can make this claim.

The Only Official Certified & Verified Ordinations
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Our Universal Life Church offices will be closed

Our ULC Offices Will Be Closed

March 29th through March 31st

Our Universal Life Church offices will tentatively be closed from March 29th through March 31st. Please remember our Daily Readings & Daily Prayer Petitions are available 365 days of the year via our Universal Life Church website

I have been in Carrabelle three times in the past week and I am slated to be again tomorrow. Once I'm living within the community it'll be much easier. Yesterday my son and I we ate lunch at 11:AM at the Fisherman's Wife Restaurant. We heard so many good things from people here in Crawfordville. The realtor though just did not seem all that impressed when I mentioned we were going there for lunch and I now know why (next time I'll let Joanne take us out to eat). It wasn't bad, but not anything like I anticipated. The Fried Oyster sandwich I had was blessed with only a few oysters, very good but very few. Mr seafood Douglas had chicken wings.

Doug loves seafood, but here he gets chicken wings!

On the way back to Crawfordville, I stopped at Millenders Fish Market, we bought Fresh Grouper, it was $10.95 a pound, I debated as here I am paying nearly $30 for a hunk of fish we could catch free (Do you know how much bait you can buy for $30?). I put it under the broiler and made a Parmesan Cheese based sauce, it made me feel a little bit better once I tasted it about spending $30 on a slab of fish.

Next time I'm getting Shrimp, I could of got easily 5-6 pounds of shrimp for what I paid for that Grouper.

It is not always about what others say, or how much you spend!!!

The Only Official Certified & Verified Ordinations
or Degree's Website With the Trust-Guard Seal

Does everyone who seeks ordination get ordained?

To Start The Pre-Screening Process For Ordination Click Banner

Let me start off by asking you lets say you developed health issues that would necessitate open heart surgery, would you want just anyone performing the ceremony?

Think about your answer, would you take your health issues to your mechanic, or your banker, or to the unemployed wino behind the rescue mission - of course you wouldn't and why? Not everyone is cut out to be a mechanic, a banker, an attorney any more than everyone in this world is cut out to be a Minister or Priest.

In 1959, Kirby Hensley founded "Life Church" and he borrowed our Christian Universal name in '62 when he incorporated, Hensley's claims were everybody had the right to choose how to pray.

I AGREE, everyone has the right to choose how to pray.

But TO PRAY is not the same as it is TO GET ORDAINED - To say that Prayer and Ordination is the same, that is equivalent to saying everyone who watches TV and a medical procedure thereon is qualified to perform surgery.

Prayer and how one chooses to pray is completely different and irrelevant with being an ordained Minister or Priest. You do not ordain everyone just because they have the right to choose how to pray. To be a Minister or Priest, no different than Jesus being selective with choosing his disciples and teaching his disciples, it is no different here today. We need to be selective and we must educate.

Again, not everyone on this planet is cut out to be a Minister or Priest, anymore than they are cut out to be a Physician. Our Ministers and Priests are professionals, committed to their trade like any other individual is committed to theres. We are very generous in the ordination process, but we do screen all candidates and get to know them first.

The Only Official Certified & Verified Ordinations
or Degree's Website With the Trust-Guard Seal

Sour Grapes from other ULC's & satan is nothing new

We Follow The Original Universal Life Church of 2nd Century Origin

Since the 2nd Century our Universal Life Church name has always been proprietary to Christianity. The word Universal comes from the Greek Language and it means catholic. Catholic with a small 'c' means Christian, don't confuse catholic with a small 'c' with the Roman Catholic Church. Catholicism is of the Christian Faith, but catholic denotes all Christians.

Universal (Life) Church was the original name of the second century Roman Church and yes our Universal Life Church does possess apostolic succession to Christ.

Don't be led astray by other non-Christian Churches with the same name. They claim to be the original, but how can they be when their not even a Christian Church. Jesus forewarned us such would come - don't fall victim they ordain followers of satan & atheists. They are not Christian.

Several times each and every day I pray to our Lord Jesus and I thank him each and every time for what he endured for both me and you. It's not everyday someone goes through what our Lord went through on Good Friday nearly 2000 years ago. If you are one of the few who has yet to watch Mel Gibson's "The Passion of Christ" may I suggest that you do so. When I saw this movie when it was first released I could not sit and watch straight through, I needed to close my eyes or turn my head when our Lord Jesus was beaten.

We as Christians today are still persecuted, I am no exception. As leader of the world's largest Christian Universal Life Church, the name of our founding Church of the second century I face my critics, especially those who lead or are affiliated with the anti-Christian Universal Life Churches started by the twice defrocked, Kirby Hensley as Life Church in 1959. One of these Churches even has a website that resembles the National Enquirer attacking all other leaders of every other ULC and I'm no exception, claiming I'm a convicted felon, etc., etc.

I assure you I am no convicted felon, it is just propaganda being spewed by a very hateful individual(s) who are anti-Christian and who have been faced with a cold hard dose of reality.

We have put a huge dent into Satan's battleship.

Our Lord Jesus Christ will not tolerate the practices of these other Universal Life Churches that ordain followers of satan and atheists, churches that make a mockery of our Lord's message to us all. It is by the power of the Holy Spirit that these other Universal Life Churches and all those associated therewith will be destroyed.

When God showed to Peter the rock for which his Church was to be built upon, he did not tell Peter it was a Church to ordain followers of satan, atheists and other such likes.

Our Christian Universal Life Church has blown the cover off these satanic ULC's and their anti Christian ways.

Once again we Christians have regained control of the largest Universal Life Church and the leader thereof will not let up. When it comes to my conviction to our Lord Jesus Christ and fighting satan on his behalf as a soldier of Christ, I am relentless and I will never succumb to the dark side.

I ask all Christians and all who believe in Jesus Christ and the God of Abraham, which includes my brothers and sisters with the Religion of Islam, or of the Jewish Community and all others, let us together unite and let us destroy satan and the evildoers who follow the anti-Christ.

We owe it to future generations, we owe it to our children. Remember what Jesus tells us in the Bible, there will be those that come.

We have those who use the first name of our Christian Church who ordain followers of satan, atheists, evildoers and non-believers, they are only looking to thwart your beliefs and opinions. Do not fall for it. Stay away from the other ULC's (Universal Life Churches), stay on the pathway Christ told us to stay upon.

Remember the wider, the more popular pathway in today's society may not be the right path. Reach down into your subconcious, tap into your inner soul and do that which you believe in your gut is right.

They can squeeze them sour grapes dry, the intimidation tactics and their threats and the BS will not prevail. Christ will prevail as will his followers.

Join with me today. http://www.ulcnetwork.com

~ Brother Michael

The Only Official Certified & Verified Ordinations
or Degree's Website With the Trust-Guard Seal

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Monday, March 7, 2011